Review: Gardein Breakfast Sausage Patties and Upton’s Bacon Seitan

A cruelty-free breakfast definitely doesn’t include sausage and bacon…unless those items are made from veggies and grains.

If you’re a plant-based eater and want a hearty protein with your fluffy pancakes and tofu eggs, than I would definitely try Upton’s Bacon Seitan. If you pan fry it, it retains its chewy texture, but I found that when I cooked it in the toaster oven (on a tray, no oil), it crisped up a bit. 

Whenever I have Upton’s Bacon in my fridge, I eat 2-3 slices every morning. Yup, every morning. I usually just stick it between two pieces of toast with a savory spread. Otherwise, I enjoy it with tofu eggs or pancakes. It’s chewy, savory, and has a lovely spice. It doesn’t taste like bacon, but when crisped slightly in the toaster oven, it does taste like crisp, dark brown bacon.

Upton’s bacon is sliced thinly, and I find the contents more than generous. I think one box lasts me easily a week.

Gardein's sausage patties that I pan fried with fennel seeds to bring out a savory flavor.

When it comes to breakfast sausages, I haven’t found one that I really like. Gardein’s Patties look like an imitation pork patty – like what you’d get at McDonald’s. But, it tastes like mushy carrots. Now, I like carrots, so that’s not a bad thing, but if you want a savory, sausage taste, pan fry the patties with some fennel seeds. I found that gives it that sausage taste you might remember.

The patty is tender and hearty, but I just wish it had more of a savory and spiced taste to it.

So, buy the bacon seitan, but skip the Gardein patty – unless you like mushy carrots with your eggs and pancakes. 

Upton's bacon seitan sandwiched between two pancakes.

No Animals Were Harmed with the Making of This Fake Meat

The decision to eat fake meat can get some vegans riled up. I definitely can understand why some people find it disgusting to eat a product that resembles the flesh of animals. When I first became plant-based, I immediately shunned fake meats. I asked my cousin, who has been vegan for a few years and is an activist for animal rights, her thoughts on imitation burgers, hot dogs and chicken strips.

She said the transition to a vegan lifestyle can be difficult for some people, so fake meats fill that void that former carnivores experience. She told me her husband loves veggie hot dogs, and my family and hers have enjoyed vegan burgers together in the past, so I know she and her young daughter have no qualms with the occasional soy- or wheat-based sandwich meat.

It was definitely exciting as a home cook to convert my beloved non-vegan recipes into plant-based ones with the aid of seitan (comprised of wheat gluten) and TSP (textured soy protein). My husband marveled at my new-and-improved dishes that included such classics as:

• Chicken curry
• "Meatloaf"
•  Tacos and tamales

I know for myself that having these fake meats at my disposal provided a sort of comfort. There was no way I was going back to eating animal flesh, but feeling satisfied and not feeling cut off from dishes that reminded me of my mom, holidays, and other special occasions was important. 

As the year went on, my stack of recipes grew considerably, and the "stars" of the dish shifted from fake meats to heartier veggies. I would say fake meats appear sparingly in my diet today because I've just grown to love the taste of fruits and veggies, and I just feel great when I eat more fresh produce. 

So, if you're new to the plant-based scene, don't feel guilty for chowing on Gardein, Fieldstone, or Tofurky products. You might need these items to help other family members let go of their meat obsession and to fill everyone's plates until you achieve a collection of good plant-based recipes. 

Coming soon: I'll talk about one of my favorite vegan eateries and a NYC shop that delivers awesome vegan "meat" products.